Battle for the (Toilet) Airways

August 12, 2015

You know how it is with competitive big-businesses, muck raking and scandal-slinging are fairly commonplace in these circles. However, one Goliath vs. Goliath battle in particular has us thinking.

The Dyson Airblade, dubbed “the hygienic hand dryer” has had rather heady claims laid against it. According to a study carried out by researchers at the University of Westminster, the snazzy new dryers that make us feel like we’re in a 1970s utopian sci-fi movie actually “spread 60 times more germs than standard air dryers”. (Source: Telegraph) Another study in 2014 at the University of Leeds also found that “airborne germ counts were 27 times higher around jet air dryers in comparison with the air around paper towel dispensers”

Let’s look at the big picture here, the previous study was funded by the European Tissue Symposium, AKA “Big Paper” and this led to Dyson spokespeople calling the research “flawed”. Releasing a YouTube response, titled “Paper’s Dirty Secret”, Dyson hit back at the study’s claims and stated that “even before they reach the washroom, paper towels can contain large amounts of culturable bacteria.” and “up to 88% of unused paper towels contain bacteria.”

It’s the germaphobes that are the real victims here. Whilst Dyson and the paper towel industry continue with the scare tactics, it’s the modern-day Howard Hughes’s lurking by the bathroom doorway for fear of touching the handle that will be most affected. The culture of fear invading the way in which we conduct our lives is expanding, never mind the immigrants and the terrorists, it’s the germs that’ll win the day, like the end of War of the Worlds, and your rolled-up copy of the Daily Mail won’t protect you.


Works-in-progress, In-house shenanigans and various drivel

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